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Withheld Ejaculation

See also:

• Retarded Ejaculation
• Dry Ejaculation

Here, ejaculation is entirely possible but there is a choice made to not do so during intercourse, though the male may not know exactly why. It is usually a voluntary 'holding on' though there is sometimes an inability to 'let go' even if he wants to, which he usually does not. Masturbation is usually satisfactory though it might be, from choice, an infrequent occurrence. Some males view this 'problem' as a strength.

Many males who hold back in this way are not even aware that it is sometimes viewed as a problem. They may only become so at such time as they want to 'let go', perhaps because there is now a wish to father a child, only to discover that 'something' is stopping them and they are powerless to do anything about it. It is then that a particular thought process 'kicks in' and they discover that the harder they try, the more difficult it all becomes. The usual outcome is retarded ejaculation where there is no conscious control at all; he cannot 'come' during intercourse no matter how long it lasts for - probably because of a conditioned response acquired through years of holding back. Masturbation, however, will often present no such problem.

The Answer
It is important that a male with this problem must truly want to resolve it; if he sees it even only partly as a strength, then it is not likely to change - he will be quite naturally resistant to the idea of any sort of loss of power. When the problem is involuntary, though - in other words, when he really does not want to hold on but seems powerless to just 'let go' then some professional help is needed. This can be found via one the audio CDs on our Shopping page or consultation with one of our psychosexual specialists all of whom are properly trained and thoroughly competent therapists.

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