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Long Term Plans

It's not unusual for an individual to experience regret that their relationship has deteriorated to the point of 'just staying together for the sake of it'. But all is not lost if they are still together - maybe not even if they have separated; as long as they are both prepared to work at it, then much restoration work can be carried out.

The biggest problem to overcome is suspicion and/or anger. Where there has been an absence of closeness or intimacy for an extended period of time, the Bus stop syndrome is probably active (see: Bus Stop Syndrome). Any sudden emotional or sexual advance is likely to lead to suspicion on the part of the male as he wonders what she wants, possibly anger on the part of the female as she decides that he's just after sex. All of this sounds cynical but it is, unfortunately, the way that couples 'work' when they are in what might be thought of as an intimacy wilderness.

Again, communication is paramount - the individual who wants to make things work properly again must tell their partner that they want to restore the relationship and why, or their efforts will almost certainly be doomed to failure. If their partner disagrees, then there is nothing to do but 'hang on in there' and try again another time; if they agree, though, then the way forward is slowly, one step at a time:

You can download and print this list of 'rules': Rebuilding a Relationship

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