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Penetration Anxiety

See also:

This often presents in a similar way to Vaginismus but is distinguished from that by the fact that penetration is possible, albeit after prolonged foreplay and maybe the use of lubricants such as KY jelly or baby oil. Such anxiety usually inhibits sexual enjoyment and/or orgasm, though this is not necessarily so. Indeed, it is sometimes the case that excitation and arousal increases to the point at which the anxiety abates and the resultant penetration itself produces intense orgasm.

It is not unusual for the partner to suffer more from this condition than the individual herself, since there are occasions which can be best summed up as: "Yes, ok… yes… yes… er… no, sorry, I really can't do it after all…" Although the partner might believe otherwise, there is not usually anything calculated or spiteful about this; it is simply that she does not know until she tries whether she will be able to 'do it' that day or not. Sometimes, she can overcome the anxiety enough to start foreplay and 'get into it' enough to complete coitus; at other times the anxiety will overcome her, engendering a need to escape the situation.

The Answer
Essentially, the answer given to help with Vaginismus (above) is relevant here. It is also entirely possible to resolve the situation by using a lot of foreplay, especially if there can be agreement that penetration will not be attempted for at least an hour - unless she wants it to be. Plenty of lubricant can work wonders, too, because just occasionally this anxiety begins when there is a sensation of the vaginal lips being pressured or dragged in some way.

Where this does not resolve the issue, it is almost certain that one of our psychosexual specialists will be able to provide effective help.

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