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Masturbation Jealousy

There is a major difference between the male and female attitude towards their partner's masturbation; whereas the male usually finds female masturbation highly erotic, the majority of women are not anywhere nearly as interested in male masturbation. A male will often actively encourage a female to do it while he watches (though many females are uncomfortable with this, for the reasons shown under the Masturbation Complex heading above) but it is less common for a female to ask a man to do the same.

For the most part, women would prefer to believe that their male has little interest in pornography, or, at least, that he does not indulge in the observation of it any way. Much of the time, they are not at ease with the idea that he might indulge in solo masturbation, feeling that it is in some way a sign that he is dissatisfied with whatever they do as a couple. This is exacerbated if they discover that he is looking at pornographic material, for the females portrayed within are likely to be viewed as mistresses or harlots, somebody whom their man prefers to have sex with.

Discovery of such masturbatory activity can produce a violently angry response and the insistence that there will be no sexual activity between them for a very long time, if ever - the reaction can be exactly that which would be expected if she had discovered him indulging in a sexual act with another female in a 'live' setting. Men, on the other hand, if they discover their partner has an interest in, say, 'girly porn' seldom react with any animosity.

In truth, masturbation for either gender is simply a different form of sex; it can produce more physically intense orgasm/ejaculation than intercourse and solo masturbation can often produce the most powerful sensation of all - probably because of the freedom to explore erotic thoughts and fantasies in an unselfconscious manner. It is important to recognise that for most people, intercourse will always remain the most rewarding form of sexual activity overall. There will always be occasions, though, where 'normal' individuals of either sex want to masturbate rather than indulge in sexual intercourse.

The Solution
It is usually the female who suffers from Masturbatory Jealousy and, in truth, this usually happens because she does not understand that way that the male mind and body actually works. The male sex drive is insistent and unstoppable; he is designed that way and if he were not then it's entirely possible that he would not be sexually interested in the female who is expressing jealousy over his solo sexual activity. Generally, he certainly does not prefer masturbation to sexual intercourse, but uses it as a release from sexual tension if the female has less of an 'appetite'. It certainly is not remotely the same thing as being sexually attracted by another female.

Many times, a female worries about what the male is actually thinking about while he's masturbating; is it another female? Is it somebody she knows? Would he rather be with that person? If she has discovered that he is using porn, then she will sometimes feel sexually inadequate in comparison to the 'stars'. Most of the time, a male does fantasise during masturbation but it is frequently a secret fantasy about 'his' female, or a secret fetish about which he is too uncomfortable to discuss.

It is fair to say that the closer a male's sex life gets to what he wants it to be, the less he will turn to masturbation. It's worth the recognition that almost all males masturbate and almost all males keep it at least partly secret from their partner. Almost all females masturbate, too, but quite often tend to think that this is a completely different matter from when the male does it!

Reading this article on Sexual Differences can help to create an understanding.

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