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Masturbation Complex

This is far more common than is often realised, among both men and women. The major difference between the male and the female is that while males almost never deny that they masturbate, females will do so and are more likely to be believed. It is not unusual for a female to apparently believe the masturbation is purely a male activity - which means that if she does (and most do) she is more likely to suffer the ill effects of the resultant guilt. Another difference between male and female responses associated with masturbation is discussed elsewhere on this site, under the Masturbatory Jealousy heading.

The major evidence we have that such a complex exists is the almost universal acceptance that the behaviour is in some way upsetting to others and should therefore be kept a very private thing - so entrenched is this notion that it can seem totally 'normal' in the same way as does defaecatory shame.

It is not whether or not an individual denies masturbating that is the measure of the presence of an associated guilt complex - though many might think it is - but what they feel about the fact that they do it. They might be consciously at ease with the notion that it is a normal human behaviour and something that almost all people (and many animals) do but the subconscious guilt processes, acquired during their formative years, can still create all manner of reactions, including:

• Defensiveness on challenges/accusations of any sort
• Uncontrollable blushing (maybe mimicking the sexual flush)
• Generalised 'guilt complex' - the "It wasn't me!" response
• Poor self worth/low self-esteem
• Social phobia/embarrassment/shyness

There are other manifestations but these are the most frequently encountered. There are three other common situations worth recognition:

1. If the individual manages to deny the masturbatory urges to the point where they subside completely, extreme anxiety can result, though this might well be discharged via obsessive behaviour patterns - this is not to suggest that any form of obsessive behaviour must have its roots in a masturbation complex, only that it could have.
2. An individual may well be able to masturbate in front of their partner yet still have an active masturbation complex. The 'evidence' of this is that if their partner discovered them masturbating when they had not expected to be observed, they suffer embarrassment and/or guilt. There may also be a defensive response which will seek to make the 'intruder' the guilty party.
3. It is not necessarily the act of masturbating that underlies the masturbation complex but the associated thoughts/fantasies. These will always be of an unselfconscious and highly erotic nature which may be assessed as 'shameful'. The further removed they are from what the individual believes to be 'normal', the greater the impact of masturbatory guilt on the psyche. One indicator of this situation is a need to always appear 'proper', though that need comes directly from the subconscious processes and is unlikely to be recognised by the individual as being associated with the complex.

Interestingly, it is the presence of a masturbatory complex which persuades many people to seek help, even though they have no awareness of what underlies their presenting difficulty. It is important to recognise that the above listed behaviour patterns can be generated by other processes in the subconscious besides masturbatory guilt.

The Answer
This sort of difficulty really is best dealt with by a professional therapist skilled in work with this particular type of guilt complex, which all our specialist therapists are, of course. If you don't wish to take that route, just remember that it is not only you who masturbates - almost the entire human race does. And it's not just humans, either, for there are many species of animals who also relieve sexual tension in the same way.

You can safely ignore it when others somehow manage to indicate that it's a 'bad thing' for there's a very high chance that they also do it. In fact, it's far more difficult to find somebody who genuinely doesn't masturbate than it is to find somebody who does!

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