<<< Back

Lack of sexual desire

The 'proper' name for this condition is: Hypoactive Desire Disorder. Here, there is a complete disinterest in sexual matters. In fact, the sufferer (who does not usually perceive herself as a sufferer) will often profess that she was never particularly interested in sexual activity at any time. Frequently, the very nature of the illness is such that when she decides to get help it usually at the behest of somebody else, usually a would-be sexual partner; for herself, she is not particularly concerned and will usually profess that she "can take it or leave it." At other times, she will seek help in the hope that she can somehow learn to do this thing that her partner seems obsessed with so that their relationship might survive.

In this sort of case, it is possible that there is a physical problem which is contributing to the difficulty and a full gynaecological examination is indicated. When this shows that there is no physical reason for the difficulty, it is still conceivable that the problem is a physical one, in that she could be suffering from a hormone imbalance or has a depleted testosterone level. The biggest problem is that the female needs to know what she is seeking to achieve; the fact that she has no idea what sexual urges feel like can make success elusive.

When somebody is seeking help for herself, it will more often than not be because she has been easily able to achieve a full orgasm in the past but has lost the ability along with all sexual urges. This is sometimes the case after childbirth, especially a second child, and sometimes after she has had an illicit affair in which she achieved unusually strong orgasms. In these cases, it is likely that there are purely psychological forces at work (unless there has been profound physical damage as a result of childbirth); almost always these are based around the 'trilogy' of Shame, Guilt and Embarrassment, along with a perceived loss of integrity. When the associated psychological conflict is resolved, all should be well.

The Answer
It is important to recognise that this particular problem is unlikely to be resolved unless the female really wants it to be. When this is the case, the best course of action is to consult with one of our psychosexual specialists since the reasons for the existence of the problem are many and varied and specialised knowledge is required to get to grips with it. If this course of action is not desirable for any reason, then it is likely that one or other of the products on our shopping page might help. It might also be worthwnile studying the Female Masturbation Guide - sometimes, all that's needed is a little private practice.

<<< Back