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Intercourse Anorgasmia

It is not an unknown situation that a female cannot achieve orgasm during intercourse, though can do so via masturbation or oral sex. Occasionally, this can be psychological (when it can often be traced either to guilt of some sort or to a fear of pregnancy) but it is more often the case that there is simply not enough contact and/or pressure on her pubis. When this is the case it can be because:

1. Her partner's penis is too long to achieve a full penetration.
2. His body shape simply does not allow enough contact.
3. She needs more 'thrust'.
4. He suffers penetration anxiety.
5. He does not move at a speed she likes.
6. He ejaculates too quickly though is not premature.

There are others but these are the most likely. We will look at each situation separately.

1. There is not a lot that can be done about this and the best advice would be that he could sometimes bring her to orgasm first, via any method that they both like, then achieve his own climax via penetration. It is important that she achieve orgasm first, since the male normally experiences a profound loss of interest immediately after ejaculation and he simply will not do ' a good job' which could worsen their situation.

2. Here, the male can experiment with moving his body into different positions, always maintaining pubic contact. He might find that withdrawing slightly and making belly/pubis contact works well or perhaps he needs to move upwards a little. Experiment and communication is the answer.

3. He is probably being too gentle! She won't break and, to use a colloquial expression, he should attempt to "Screw the arse off her." In the missionary position, he could attempt to push her buttocks further into the bed. She will need to tell him when he is 'getting it right' and reward him with ample evidence of pleasure. (If this last worsens the situation, he is suffering from a psycho-sexual problem that needs further investigation.)

4. This is a difficult problem to resolve without seeking professional help. Our sexual therapists are all familiar with this problem and know how to sort it out.

5. Communication is needed. He cannot know if she doesn't tell him what she likes. If the speed she wants is not his preferred rhythm, then they will need to agree that they sometimes do it the way she likes it, sometimes the way that works best for him.

6. This is actually quite a difficult problem and the best remedy is for to become aroused almost to the point of orgasm before penetration. This is possibly less satisfying than sustained intercourse but it is the easiest solution. Sometimes, one of the audio CDs on our Shopping page can be of great help.

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