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Erectile failure

See also:

• Pelvic Steal

By far the most common and most psychologically damaging of the male-presented difficulties, Erectile Dysfunction - often referred to as 'ED' - is an inability to either achieve a firm erection or to sustain it long enough for intercourse to take place. In the case of Primary Erectile Dysfunction he will have never achieved an erection during his waking hours at any time in his life (though he may do so while asleep). This is often a result of a physical condition and requires surgery, which may not provide a long term resolution.

Most cases are of Secondary Erectile Dysfunction where the ability existed originally but has been lost. Usually, he is able to masturbate at least occasionally, though sometimes this is not so. Sometimes he can never achieve an erection while awake (though may do so while asleep); in other cases he can occasionally achieve an erection which may or may not be sustained long enough for sexual intercourse to be completed. Sometimes medication like Viagra™ works, while in other individuals it does not.

The male with this problem will soon, when the problem first manifests, start to try to force the issue and usually manages to make things worse; because he fears that 'it won't work' he will continue to make attempts to prove himself wrong but will be thinking about a 'fail' - and that is exactly what he gets. Before long, he is seeking to make something happen which is not actually under much conscious control at all but is a reaction from the autonomic nervous system. He will fantasise about a fetish (see later), attempt to get partners to do all sorts of things and may even decide that all he needs is a new lover... and when even that does not work he will become full of despair. Not all men do all these things, though most will do most before they take the step of seeking a 'cure'.

It is important to understand that in many cases the problem is predominantly physiological rather than psychological, although if the penis is erect after sleep, this is a strong indicator that the difficulty is predominantly psychological.

Where the problem is purely psychological profound success can frequently be achieved and even where physiology is involved it is often possible to create some improvement in function. The best test to discover whether the problem is physical or psychological is to discover if erection occurs during sleep; the easiest way to do this is to take a strip of paper around half-an-inch wide and four inches or so long and wrap it around the penis, fastening it with a small spot of water-based gum (do NOT use superglue!). On awakening, if the paper has torn, then it is an indicator that erection has occurred during sleep and the problem is therefore one of psychology, which can usually be resolved.

The Answer
By far the best solution is to consult with a professional therapist; this particular difficulty is by no means rare and is one with which all of our psychosexual specialists have received specific training. The problem can often be resolved very quickly and in some cases needs only a single session.

If you don't want to take this route, then one of the audio CDs on our 'shopping page might well help.

Other remedies include Cialis® (Tadalafil) and Sildenafil Citrate (marketed as, among other names, Viagra). These are generally quite effective and both work in the same way to help sustain an erection, even sometimes where the problem is physiological. They only work, though, when psychological sexual arousal is present - they are not a cure for a loss of desire. A consultation with a medical professional is important before commencing this type of medication and it is worth the recognition that many of these medicines sold over the internet are fake.

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