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Different levels of sex drive

"He wants to do it all the time!"
"She never seems to want to do it!"

These are two oft-heard 'complaints' and are an indicator of one of the major problems that can beset a relationship - differing levels of sex drive. Of course, he doesn't really 'want to do it all the time'; he just wants to do it more frequently than she believes is 'normal'. And it is not true that she never seems to want to do it; she just doesn't want to do it some of the times that he does...

This situation is more complicated than it might at first appear, since it is heavily involved with the sexual instincts and characteristics - in both males and females - that have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. In our modern times, these instincts don't function particularly well and are the cause of many problems; there is a full article on this subject that you can read and/or download from our Articles page which will give you a greater understanding of this process.

Essentially, the only real answer to this relationship issue is to talk to each other about it without temper tantrums or groundless accusations. Always remember this important fact, even though you might at first want to disagree with it: We simply cannot instantaneously control what we think or feel - we can only control what we actually do with what we think or feel. We can suppress it or express it; we can be selfish or tolerant... and if we make a change to our usual response pattern, that just might, over a period of time, allow a change in our thought and feeling processes to occur.

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